By I’d like to start by saying this is not a pity party… but I had no idea how much of a blow my self-esteem would take by being pregnant. When we first started talking about having a baby, I poked my belly out a few times in the mirror to see what it would look like and I thought, “oh, that’s cute!”
However, I was naïve in thinking that my arms, legs, face, and feet would stay the same and I would be one of those cute pregnant people who only shows in their belly. Part of that is probably because I used to work out very hard and when I got sick I could barely walk, much less consider doing burpees, squats or pull-ups. I used to run multiple times a week, and I stopped completely. So yeah, my body is catching up with all that on top of being pregnant.
Maternity pants are great, but the fact that I can’t wear my normal clothes is utterly depressing. Especially because maternity clothes are obviously not made by people with a strong sense of fashion. They’re more for convenience/comfort.
I always knew I would have trouble gaining weight when I was pregnant. And I don’t feel that “pregnant glow” other than when I’m sweating… ALL THE TIME. Our A/C has been on 60 for weeks now at night because I am so hot all the time. I think Landon and the baby are both acting as furnaces at night.
I was looking through old photos and had to laugh at how ‘big’ I thought I was in those pictures… and how insane I was for thinking that. Here are pictures from 2007-2016 (pre-pregnancy)… and I wonder if I will EVER look like that again?
I was never the person who was ‘naturally skinny’ and used to get so angry when people would suggest that. I worked very hard to stay in shape with exercise and a relatively healthy diet. So many people have told me how much weight you lose after delivery, and much you lose with breast feeding but I also realize it’s not immediate and my self-esteem may just keep taking a blow for a while.
I do intend to start working out/running again as soon as I’m cleared and LW has agreed to give me those few hours a week so that I can be happy and reduce some stress. But I think it will be hard since I’ve been out of the game for so long. I’ve signed up for a pregnancy fitness class that will go for the next 6 weeks (think light to moderate exercise twice a week) and I’ve been trying to keep getting my mileage in with dog walks each day.
Having already gained 26 lbs, I know I am on track to hit somewhere between 30-40 before we meet the little fella. My doctor said last week that she doesn’t like her moms to gain more than 22 lbs in total but I haven’t met anyone who has only gained 22 lbs so I kind of don’t care about that (like at all). She’s also super tiny and I imagine will have a lot of the same feelings I’m having when she is pregnant one day.
So again, this is NOT a pity party and I’m definitely not asking for a barrage of texts or calls telling me how great I look or anything. I’m aware that I’m growing a little miracle right now and if that means gaining 40 lbs. to have a healthy baby, then bring on the 40 lbs. I would just like for the rest of those 40 lbs. to not be more chins, larger feet or thunder thighs, if possible. Is that too much to ask?
Chapel Hill Baby 