I’d like to start by saying this is not a pity party… but I had no idea how much of a blow my self-esteem would take by being pregnant. When we first started talking about having a baby, I poked my belly out a few times in the mirror to see what it would look like and I thought, “oh, that’s cute!”
However, I was naïve in thinking that my arms, legs, face, and feet would stay the same and I would be one of those cute pregnant people who only shows in their belly. Part of that is probably because I used to work out very hard and when I got sick I could barely walk, much less consider doing burpees, squats or pull-ups. I used to run multiple times a week, and I stopped completely. So yeah, my body is catching up with all that on top of being pregnant.
Maternity pants are great, but the fact that I can’t wear my normal clothes is utterly depressing. Especially because maternity clothes are obviously not made by people with a strong sense of fashion. They’re more for convenience/comfort.
I always knew I would have trouble gaining weight when I was pregnant. And I don’t feel that “pregnant glow” other than when I’m sweating… ALL THE TIME. Our A/C has been on 60 for weeks now at night because I am so hot all the time. I think Landon and the baby are both acting as furnaces at night.
I was looking through old photos and had to laugh at how ‘big’ I thought I was in those pictures… and how insane I was for thinking that. Here are pictures from 2007-2016 (pre-pregnancy)… and I wonder if I will EVER look like that again?
I was never the person who was ‘naturally skinny’ and used to get so angry when people would suggest that. I worked very hard to stay in shape with exercise and a relatively healthy diet. So many people have told me how much weight you lose after delivery, and much you lose with breast feeding but I also realize it’s not immediate and my self-esteem may just keep taking a blow for a while.
I do intend to start working out/running again as soon as I’m cleared and LW has agreed to give me those few hours a week so that I can be happy and reduce some stress. But I think it will be hard since I’ve been out of the game for so long. I’ve signed up for a pregnancy fitness class that will go for the next 6 weeks (think light to moderate exercise twice a week) and I’ve been trying to keep getting my mileage in with dog walks each day.
Having already gained 26 lbs, I know I am on track to hit somewhere between 30-40 before we meet the little fella. My doctor said last week that she doesn’t like her moms to gain more than 22 lbs in total but I haven’t met anyone who has only gained 22 lbs so I kind of don’t care about that (like at all). She’s also super tiny and I imagine will have a lot of the same feelings I’m having when she is pregnant one day.
So again, this is NOT a pity party and I’m definitely not asking for a barrage of texts or calls telling me how great I look or anything. I’m aware that I’m growing a little miracle right now and if that means gaining 40 lbs. to have a healthy baby, then bring on the 40 lbs. I would just like for the rest of those 40 lbs. to not be more chins, larger feet or thunder thighs, if possible. Is that too much to ask?